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Saturday
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What if all you wanna do is just to spend some times with your loves one?
Like just hanging out with one another, doing some activities with one another or just simply just talking to one another. However what will you do when everything that you plan to have... everything that you want to have, couldnt be achieve at all?
Well this happens to me all the time, whenever i planned somethings.. in the end it will just get canceled instead. Whenever i suggest something.. that idea will just get push away instead..
Most of the times, my parents kept on saying that they dont understand me at all cause due to the lack of communication..
But that is not the case at all...
They always say that my temper is bad cause i hardly talk to them but the problems is that whenever i wanna talk to them, will they ever listen.. No they dont. Whenever i feel like saying my thoughts about some stuff, they just push that thoughts away. Whenever i start some topics with them, they hardly seems interested at it at all.
They always say that they know me but then the hard truth is that they dont even know the real me at all. They dont even know the drinks that i love, my favourite colour, the types of songs and the bands that i love, the food that im allergy too.... nothing.. they dont even know a single thing about me. How does that count as knowing me when they dont even know or take note of the small little things that i do everyday. Just a small act like this, just by noticing what others do, it wouldnt even take long. Im not expecting that they will take notes of me all the times but at least make a little effort to show that you care instead of just saying that you care.
Actions always means alot more than words .. why can't they understand this fact..
Normally due to all of our busy schedule , we hardly even have time to hang out together anymore. Even if we did go out, it's not because that they want to hang out but it's because that they have things that they want to buy or have to do.. that is the only times that we will go out.That is why whenever we have a chance to out together , i always hate to go home that early cause i want to spend more times with them but every time my suggestion just got brush off instead. They always say that they are not interested in the things that i suggested or that they are just tired and want to go home instead so that they can catch on their television program. Do they even know how hurt i will get whenever they say that. Does television program really means alot more to you than me ?? I really dont understand at all ...
They always say that i have changes but have they really thought about what is the real reason that have cause this change in me.... it's them....
so now i understand a hard fact ... what's the point of voicing out your thoughts when they dont even seems to care about it at all...
so if one day, you guys are feeling lonely cause im not longer by your side, dont ever blame me for it cause you guys are the one who cause this change in me.....
Monday
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It's been a long time since i last updated my blog and it's pretty dead ....
Sunday
What if......
what if one day you have to choose between the good and the bad..
what if one day you have to be forgotten by the people that you love ...
what if one day, the only choice that you're left isn't the choice that you wanna make
what if one day all those things happened, what will you do?
Are you willing to let all those things go? Are you willing to see those tears on their face?
Everything that you once care about, all those people that things that you're once familiar with....
Are you willing to see them suffer because of you??
Honestly when you're younger, you wouldn't even think about all this stuff. However the older you get
the more you will think about it. All those things and question that you have never thought before, and thought that you will never think about would start to appear in your mind.
At first you will be wondering what in the world is happening to you,
why are you thinking this way however sooner or later,
you will realized that this is a process that everyone will have to go through in their life.
Some people will experience it now , some people will experience it later
and some people will never get a chance to experience this at all.....
So cherish everything that you're having now
All those moment... before it's too late....
before
they are gone forever....
Tuesday
Sunday
Words can really hurts someone badly, even though you might not meant it and that isnt what you really mean but then you will never know that other can actually interpret your words wrongly and get the wrong idea. When that happen, it really hurts like hell ....
I thought that i have forgotten about everything, forgotten the sentence that you had say to me. Forgotten the disappointment that i have give you. Forgotten the hurt that has been kept in my heart but sadly i guess i didnt forget at all. I wanna change, i wanna be back to what i am before but then sadly i cant anymore. Whenever i talk to you, those flashback starts to flash before my eyes. Those words that you have say before still act like torn that pierce straight into my heart... what can i do now.. i really dont know anymore....
I wanna change, change back to how i was before. Change back to the hyper girl that i was in the past but i guess that will never happen anymore. Those silence that used to be a unfamiliar to me starts to be my only friend already. No longer have those moment that i can laugh freely at home anymore. I really miss those moments. I wanna forget about everything, i really wanna forget this pain in my heart but then i can't .......
Thursday
Looking in a mirror, what will i see. I saw a girl looking back at me, that girl was wearing a mask on her face. Even though the mask shown a a really happy face but even so behind those mask, i could actually see those cracks, scars and tears on the face of the girl. From that day on, i realize i dont really recognize myself anymore.
The need of wearing a mask to hide all my true feelings is really really tiring. I'm really sick and tired of pretending that i am okay when actually i'm hurts inside. The feeling of wanting to cry out but i can't really sucks alot.
The reason for pretending that i'm okays is that i dont want others to be worry about me. I dont want to be that person that cause others to be sad as well. Another reason is that nobody cares anyway. To them, im just an invisible girl that nobody ever noticed about. Even if i really wanna tell them my secrets or even the reason of why i'm sad but who can i even tell them too..... there's no one that i can even tell them to. It's not that i dont trust them, it's just that even if i say it out they wouldn't understand the pain that i am having at all.
That's why i rather lock myself in my own world, keeping everything to myself and not letting anyone entering this world of mine.
In the darkness, i can't see anything at all. Not even myself... not even anyone at all ....
i'm all alone... just all alone.. by myself...
The need of wearing a mask to hide all my true feelings is really really tiring. I'm really sick and tired of pretending that i am okay when actually i'm hurts inside. The feeling of wanting to cry out but i can't really sucks alot.
The reason for pretending that i'm okays is that i dont want others to be worry about me. I dont want to be that person that cause others to be sad as well. Another reason is that nobody cares anyway. To them, im just an invisible girl that nobody ever noticed about. Even if i really wanna tell them my secrets or even the reason of why i'm sad but who can i even tell them too..... there's no one that i can even tell them to. It's not that i dont trust them, it's just that even if i say it out they wouldn't understand the pain that i am having at all.
That's why i rather lock myself in my own world, keeping everything to myself and not letting anyone entering this world of mine.
In the darkness, i can't see anything at all. Not even myself... not even anyone at all ....
i'm all alone... just all alone.. by myself...
Baby let's celebrate,it's time for holiday. Haha,ya you're right. It's time for my one week march holiday even though 4 days has already past by. Didn't i state before that time past by fast,it does too now. Just in a blink of eye and 4 days of my holiday just fly away like this. Now i have only 3 days left for my holiday. I still have a few more stacks of assignment to do. Sighh... why can't teacher give us a break and don't give us lots of homework during our holiday time..
Like what i have say before i like things to be unique and special so since i have time now. I have change all my twitter name,made some changes to my tumblr as well as here my lovely blog. Even though the changes isn't really great or whatever but i still love the end products of this ^^
Oh well,i havent notice else to say already. Thanks for wasting a few mins of your time to read this super random post that i am writing now. I'm kind of random you know. Okays time to end my post now so ya bye <3
Sunday
Camp over now,it's time to go back to school again. I can still remember that before the camp,i totally hope that camp day will never come but now how i hope that camp day will nvr end. It's really fun during our camp to malaysia,tanjong piai. I still remember how much i don't want to go for the jetty jump before the camp but now how i wish i can on it again. Haha,i know it's weird right. Before some of this activity,i'm super scare about it but after trying it i totally know how fun it is now. Camp is always a enjoyable and memorable experience. I always love to go for camp. I can still remember the beautiful sunset and sunrise there. All those beautiful stars that fill the whole sky and not forgotten about the full moon there as well. How i wish i can see all of this everyday in singapore but i know that's impossible one de. Sometimes it's good to just take a few mins to views and enjoy all those nature all around us. All of this can just make us forget about our problem all of a sudden and it sure make me forget about you for awhile.
Dont you really hate it when others keep on remind you about your past. A past which you don't feel like talking or even think about it anymore.... I guess everyone should feel the same way as me. Just by playing a T/D can just simply dug my past out. Just by this,your name was mentions everyday. No matter how much i tell myself and others that i don't like you anymore and have already forgotten about you but in fact it's still hard to forget. It's true that my feeling for you are over already but that doesn't means that i don't care about you anymore. I will still get upset just by hearing your name. Why can't others just understand how i feel and keep on saying your name out. I can't help it that my ex and you have the same name. I can't help it when others say your name and it remind me about you and him... How i wish i can completely forgotten about you and go on my life. Hopefully i can find someone soon again... it's true that i have crush again but i wouldn't let anyone know who that person is anymore cause i don't want to let history repeat itself again..
Dont you really hate it when others keep on remind you about your past. A past which you don't feel like talking or even think about it anymore.... I guess everyone should feel the same way as me. Just by playing a T/D can just simply dug my past out. Just by this,your name was mentions everyday. No matter how much i tell myself and others that i don't like you anymore and have already forgotten about you but in fact it's still hard to forget. It's true that my feeling for you are over already but that doesn't means that i don't care about you anymore. I will still get upset just by hearing your name. Why can't others just understand how i feel and keep on saying your name out. I can't help it that my ex and you have the same name. I can't help it when others say your name and it remind me about you and him... How i wish i can completely forgotten about you and go on my life. Hopefully i can find someone soon again... it's true that i have crush again but i wouldn't let anyone know who that person is anymore cause i don't want to let history repeat itself again..
Monday
Yo,i'm back to my blog again. Didnt expect to come back to update so quickly but erm.. ya thats thats. I will just come back when ever i like it.
Today it's a late day in school,went to have my so call breakfast with ber and isis at Gp. Which we only end up drinking some water,using the internet for awhile,doing our homework and we left there. Wow,we almost late for school sia,cause gate close at 8.15 and we 8.10 then reach school gate cause we were strolling our way from Gp back to the school. Went to class straight after that and guess what lesson starts again. First bio,which was okay okay. English was next. Today was my turn to speak up for my book talk. As what i did last year, i have to stand infront of the whole class and introduce them a book that i have read during the holidays. End my booktalk quite smoothly i guess,answer ton of question from my classmates. For the next few days for the booktalk i will rise my hands and ask question as well cause this add up my marks also.
After English lesson was what we call a break time. Yes you have guess it right,it's time for recess. Went to meet with diana and then,me,ber,cass,diana and shouahuay went for recess today and we even got ourselves new nicks sia . Totally awesome ^^
Geo was next on the list,we have to move our tables here and there cause sir want us to be groups but hor he so ma fan leh. Class need to be clean,side window must be close,table must be arrange into groups then he can start lesson. Wondering if this is geo that we study today or C.I.P lor XD
Some more he randomly ask a group to come up and answer his question which unlucky it turn out to be our group cause we were busy chatting and he thought we finish discussing about the topic that he want already. Totally LOL de lor. Maths was next,have to do a set of worksheet cause sir not here and lastly art was next and also the last one on the list. We have to complete our portraits of yourself tat we have drawn last week. Look so funny lor but if you think that art is fun. Actutally it's quite fun,it's just that you will have tons of homework and drawing and stuff to do.
Look at the time,it's a late already. Better get to bed now before i can't wake up on time tmr to meet tong and ber at the bus stop. Paipai,good night and sweet dreams everyone. <3
Today it's a late day in school,went to have my so call breakfast with ber and isis at Gp. Which we only end up drinking some water,using the internet for awhile,doing our homework and we left there. Wow,we almost late for school sia,cause gate close at 8.15 and we 8.10 then reach school gate cause we were strolling our way from Gp back to the school. Went to class straight after that and guess what lesson starts again. First bio,which was okay okay. English was next. Today was my turn to speak up for my book talk. As what i did last year, i have to stand infront of the whole class and introduce them a book that i have read during the holidays. End my booktalk quite smoothly i guess,answer ton of question from my classmates. For the next few days for the booktalk i will rise my hands and ask question as well cause this add up my marks also.
After English lesson was what we call a break time. Yes you have guess it right,it's time for recess. Went to meet with diana and then,me,ber,cass,diana and shouahuay went for recess today and we even got ourselves new nicks sia . Totally awesome ^^
Geo was next on the list,we have to move our tables here and there cause sir want us to be groups but hor he so ma fan leh. Class need to be clean,side window must be close,table must be arrange into groups then he can start lesson. Wondering if this is geo that we study today or C.I.P lor XD
Some more he randomly ask a group to come up and answer his question which unlucky it turn out to be our group cause we were busy chatting and he thought we finish discussing about the topic that he want already. Totally LOL de lor. Maths was next,have to do a set of worksheet cause sir not here and lastly art was next and also the last one on the list. We have to complete our portraits of yourself tat we have drawn last week. Look so funny lor but if you think that art is fun. Actutally it's quite fun,it's just that you will have tons of homework and drawing and stuff to do.
Look at the time,it's a late already. Better get to bed now before i can't wake up on time tmr to meet tong and ber at the bus stop. Paipai,good night and sweet dreams everyone. <3
Saturday
Saying goodbye to 2011 and hello to 2012. Wow it's been years since i have ever update my blog. Totally miss my blog and of course the time i spent here. School re-open since last week and i am currently in sec 3 already. Isn't that fast. I can still remember the first time i was in sec 1 life. I was totally afraid during that time as it was a totally new surrounding to me but look what happen to me now. 3 year studying in the same school cause me to meet lots of close friends now and of course lots of funny teachers. Totally love it. Even though i am sec 3 now but sometimes your memories will still be stuck in your 2011 memories. I guess this happen to everyone eh. Since it a new year now,that also means that new classmates and teachers whom you don't know of course. It's not like i didn't saw them before in school it just that i just don't know their new and of course the. So i need time to get use to my new class again. But luckily i am not alone because some of my close friend are in the same class as me as well or else i will become a loner already. :P
As i was totally busy at school,i totally get so lag in the music world cause i didn't really get update much. As i will get really tired once my school end and how good is it. Getting sick just in the first week of school is totally horrible. Been sick for a week already and haven't recover yet. Still having my flu,sore throat and sometimes get fever all of a sudden. Will always get tired once i eat my medicine and then will feel like sleeping already.
Just another month and we will be having SS4 in singapore already,can't wait for it. Can't wait to get my pay from my part-time job as well. Oh well,end of topic now so ya. Bye will try to update another time when i feel like it. Remember to listen to the song that i post. TeenTop: Crazy <3
Paipai <3
[ I miss you alot ]